August Updates
I want to start this post off with a note about previous postings that I have made. It should probably be mentioned that I certainly have been out of it here and there over the past year or two. I'm generally in a normal state of mind, but that always isn't the case. When I not all there, I have found that it's helpful to write about what's going on in my mind in an attempt to help myself later on. So far, this has been working well. The side effect of this is that the postings here generally lean toward the unusual and people have been worried. Please, do not be concerned at this time. I will probably let you know if worrying is needed.
Actually, right now, things are going really well. It's kinda odd, but in about a span of two months time, I've kinda hit a bottom of how things were going and now have reached a level of things going well that hasn't been achieved in a long time. About two months ago I was at the point of my worst panic attack ever and ended up in the urgent care. Then, not long after that, I lost my friendship with my best friend. Since then though, good things seem to be happening. I've been taking medication that has been helping in unbelievable ways. I have only had one panic attack since I started taking it, and I think I may have forgotten to take my afternoon pill that day. I've been very careful to not forget since then. As long as I take the medicine, I have no anxiety or anything. I still have some anxiety late at night and when I wake up as the drugs wear off, but it's much better than the all day stuff from before. I now feel like I can generally function normally all the time. I've noticed that I have been much more productive at work lately. Also, I haven't been drinking near as much as I used to. I think much of the drinking I was doing was to suppress how bad I was feeling before. I don't have that problem now. In fact, I've only drank two nights in the last three weeks. Though, I will certainly make up for lost time this Saturday as Liquid Web is having a riverboat party and much drinking will be done. Additionally, I am now in a very happy relationship with Rachael. I think any women I've dated since I've been married have always felt like it was forced and I was only doing it to be in a relationship and not because I liked that person in particular. Things with Rachael seem very different, and most likely because it wasn't anything that I was really going after at first, it just happened.
What else has been happening... Best Little Ever made short films, two weekends back-to-back, for the East Lansing Film Festival 48/5 contest and for the 48 Hour Film Project which is an international contest. For the first one, I got to play my first acting role in a Best Little Ever production. I played a bank robber. It was a lot of fun even though I had maybe 5 total hours of sleep the two night prior to the acting day. It was tons of fun though, and the movie ended up getting 2nd place. Sadly, this is the third Best Little Ever film and the first one to not get a 1st place win. The second movie I didn't work on much. I did some minor grip work the first day, but I started to feel really ill, so I ended up going home. I would have stuck it out, but there was a ton of people there, so I was pretty sure me being gone wasn't going to affect anything. That movie won 3rd place overall out of all the teams in Detroit and won Best Acting and Best Costumes. That was the first international contest we entered. There are many more movies in the works, I would like to get more into the acting as I had a good time doing that. I am also working on the website, which is easily accessed at http://www.bestlilever.com.
There is more thoughts to come. I've been slowly writing this for hours now...
Actually, right now, things are going really well. It's kinda odd, but in about a span of two months time, I've kinda hit a bottom of how things were going and now have reached a level of things going well that hasn't been achieved in a long time. About two months ago I was at the point of my worst panic attack ever and ended up in the urgent care. Then, not long after that, I lost my friendship with my best friend. Since then though, good things seem to be happening. I've been taking medication that has been helping in unbelievable ways. I have only had one panic attack since I started taking it, and I think I may have forgotten to take my afternoon pill that day. I've been very careful to not forget since then. As long as I take the medicine, I have no anxiety or anything. I still have some anxiety late at night and when I wake up as the drugs wear off, but it's much better than the all day stuff from before. I now feel like I can generally function normally all the time. I've noticed that I have been much more productive at work lately. Also, I haven't been drinking near as much as I used to. I think much of the drinking I was doing was to suppress how bad I was feeling before. I don't have that problem now. In fact, I've only drank two nights in the last three weeks. Though, I will certainly make up for lost time this Saturday as Liquid Web is having a riverboat party and much drinking will be done. Additionally, I am now in a very happy relationship with Rachael. I think any women I've dated since I've been married have always felt like it was forced and I was only doing it to be in a relationship and not because I liked that person in particular. Things with Rachael seem very different, and most likely because it wasn't anything that I was really going after at first, it just happened.
What else has been happening... Best Little Ever made short films, two weekends back-to-back, for the East Lansing Film Festival 48/5 contest and for the 48 Hour Film Project which is an international contest. For the first one, I got to play my first acting role in a Best Little Ever production. I played a bank robber. It was a lot of fun even though I had maybe 5 total hours of sleep the two night prior to the acting day. It was tons of fun though, and the movie ended up getting 2nd place. Sadly, this is the third Best Little Ever film and the first one to not get a 1st place win. The second movie I didn't work on much. I did some minor grip work the first day, but I started to feel really ill, so I ended up going home. I would have stuck it out, but there was a ton of people there, so I was pretty sure me being gone wasn't going to affect anything. That movie won 3rd place overall out of all the teams in Detroit and won Best Acting and Best Costumes. That was the first international contest we entered. There are many more movies in the works, I would like to get more into the acting as I had a good time doing that. I am also working on the website, which is easily accessed at http://www.bestlilever.com.
There is more thoughts to come. I've been slowly writing this for hours now...